That Thing I Could Never Do

I’ve never claimed to be mature and I’ve never claimed to have self control. After all, I’m just human.

Even thought I’m a full fledged card carrying member of the super awesome Team Atheist, I, admittedly, still cling to parts of my yucky Catholic upbringing: I do not have casual sex and I would never cheat on my g-friend. If it ever came down to that situation I would 1) try and work it out and 2) or wait until the relationship was totally over until I went there. Well try telling that to the plethora of politicians, mostly the Family Values GOP, that have more sex than a Las Vegas sex worker on pay day. Recently, the most famous case of infidelity is the Governator and Maria (who I saw one time at the concert in the park and I was going to talk to her, but my homies convinced me not to. “Dude, that guy looks like CIA, or something.” Really, I was just going to go over to her and say hello…and if she thought my six pack was awesome.). So why do supposedly happily married people, people that are supposed to set the example for the rest of us ‘do the deed’ with someone that is not their significant other?

The most recent of high profile spouse cheating is between the powerful Governatior and Maria. They, seemingly had everything that normal everyday people could want, but the Governator decided he needed an additional conquest, a notch on his belt full of great accomplishments. So why why why.

“When it comes to making decisions about love and betrayal, logic and reason have a difficult time competing with our emotions for control. So from time to time, our emotions influence our behavior and lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling (The truth about deception).”

Not only that, scientist have discovered a risk taking gene (DRD4). People with an elongated DED4 engage in high risk activities like skydiving, gambling and infidelity. These are the people that invest in risky investments because the potential reward is quit tremendous. They might street luge in the X-Games Olympics, take drugs and when the opportunity presents itself, they will offer the comfort of sex to a married person, either them or someone else.

The situation has a lot to do with being close or interdependent on someone other than one’s spouse. There are many others.

• Being around someone who is sexually interested
• Spending a lot of time one-on-one with someone else
• Not feeling close or connected to one’s spouse (e.g., feeling lonely, being upset or angry with a spouse, etc.)
• Situations that create the sense of opportunity – the feeling that one will not get caught (e.g., meeting someone in private, out of town trips, etc.).
• Situations involving alcohol or drugs

The one that sticks out and calls to me is not feeling close to someones spouse. Relationships are difficult at best and it takes a lot of work. The people involved may have gotten married at an early age and have grown apart. As a dude, I can admit that there have been situations where I either could not offer proper support or I didn’t want to (I have never cheated, but (      ) I forgive you. I was not attentive to you needs Please forgive me. I do not blame you at all and I’am sorry*). When couples are in this situation I think that they should seek help and try and iron things out. To go and secretly cheat is despicable and hurtful. I have no respect for peeps that engage in this activity. If your needs are not being met, then take the steps and try, frackin’ try to make things better. Cheating is not good in academics or sports and in relationships, well…there must be a better way.

In early human history when a child’s life expectancy was low, I can see the need to do Gods work and have as many babies as possible with as many partners as possible, but we are not at that point in history. Sex is not just for reproduction anymore. It has many traits associated to it: power, conquest and yes, there are needs, wants and desires that may be met with a romp in the park. I have no problem with consenting adults having sex. The problem I have is when it destroys lives, when there is deceit, secrecy and manipulation. I believe that humans are better than that.

So once again Gods Party has shown us “Do not do as I do, do as I tell you (like Bristol “teenage prego mom” Bristol Palin who currently workd for an abstinence program). These are people that are supposed to be leading by example. Take the Newt. He is running on fiscal conservative spending, but he has a 500,000 dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s (many in his home state do not even have homes worth that much) and he is on his third wife. Sheez. John Edwards, former VP candidate tried to cover up his affair by paying her off. Sadly his wife died a year or so ago to cancer. What is it with these people.

I have no respect for people that cheat on their spouses and families. Many of these people are leaders and looked up to in their environments. If things are not well, then they should get help or get out. After that then they will be free to do what it is that they please. Personally I’ve been crushed by infidelity and to this day I have a deep hate in my heart that is beyond forgiving-instead it makes me more and more angry, even after all these years. What makes me the most mad is that the GOP are leaders in infidelity when they should be leaders in making this country better and great. Hypocrites like that make me want to spit in their cheating faces.

I’m just human. If I were in this situation I would be so scared of what I could do.

* The science behind politicians who cheat.

* Making the decision to cheat.

* The risk taking gene.

* Perhaps my next post. How to tell if you partner is cheating.