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Pastor Tight Pants

Whoa Nelly…what is happening to religion as of lates. The new new NIV bible is softer and more PC (they changed the word ‘booty’ to treasure) and evangelical pastors are letting Gandhi into heaven. “But he’s Muz-lim”, say that in yer best hick voice and laugh. Well, not all evangelical pastors, just one, Rob Bell.

Pastor Rob Bell has a new book out called Love Wins and in it he is redefining what hell is. Yes the fire and brimstone are gone and now minorities like Gandhi are welcome. Of course the traditionalists are hella mad, because they don’t take well to change, or for that matter, evolution. “Dagnabit, God wrote the bible in english and he said there and wuz a hell and that’s good enuff fer me,” say it and laugh again. Oh yea, the real Christians are calling dude a heretic.

On the video at CNN Belief Blog, Pastor Cool Guy says that we are only speculating on what happens after we die. WTF. I can’t believe it. I….actually….agree….with that. It’s true, no one knows what happens when we die. I just watched a good debate with “Our Hero” against some Jewish peeps and they concluded/admitted that no one knows what happens after we die….there is only speculation.

There are two thingies going on in my lame ass brain right now 1) evolution of the church is a good thingy and 2). there is no such thing as hell.  I keep mentioning Bishop John Shelby Spong and how he wants to modernize the church. He wants to take out all the supernatural-y stuffs and replace them with symbolic stuffs. For example, miracles don’t happen, those are impossible, but those stories where the miraculous happens, that is cool and you can learn from those stories. So Pastor Young Guy wants to modernize the concept of hell to include good people, OK, I’m cool with that….except…

Hell, or heaven for that matter, does not exist. How can Gandhi go to a place  that doesn’t exist, he can’t, you can’t, I can’t, if fact no one can go to a place that doesn’t exist. The church has been so wrong about so many things, surely they are wrong on this one also. Age of the earth, wrong/creation stories, wrong/biblical prophecies, wrong/end of times, wrong/Noah’s Ark, wrong, the list can go on and on…

What is heaven, or hell? Do dogs go to heaven, what if you don’t like dogs? Is your family gonna be there, what if you don’t like your family? What if you don’t like minorities, are there gonna be minorities there? All these situations can easily be hell. Are there many heavens and hells simultaneously, or just one? Howz about there are none.

So, kudos to Pastor Hipster. He is trying to modernize the religion he loves and in doing so (hopefully) it aligns with all the cool social issues like DADT, GLBT, feminism and smoking pot. OK, maybe not that last one-that would be cool tho. Traditionalist call him a heretic, but who’s not a heretic-they are all heretics to someone. But…but, where we go our own way is in the whole believing in heaven and hell. I like The Bishop also, but hell if I’m agonna believe in hell (I couldn’t resist). Pastor Tight Jeans might listen to cool music and wear all black, but just like he said…we can only speculate on what happens after death. Until I get me some good skeptic proof evidence on the existence of heaven or hell…then I’m going with Team A and Team Skeptic.

* I always put an asterisks comment after a post, but this time I don’t have anything to say or add.


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