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If Gawd Likes To Watch Sex So Much, He Should Get A Laptop

 Sex will be the undoing of religion. I hope that within this decade there will be no more prejudice for my homies that heart same sex peeps and that women, that wonderful 51% of the population, will have control of their bodies and will have the ability to do with their bodies, what they will. How do we get there? Part of it is exposing biblical literacy for the cherry picking unfairness that it is. The bible is the original poll. Right now if there is a debate, then one side will take a poll to prove their side; but the other side will and can do the same. Nothing gained. The bible can be interpreted to say anything. There are peeps that use the bible to say that same sex…errr, sex is wrong; and yet there are GLBT homies that can use the bible to say that Gawd wants same sex couples, with immaculate homes, really nice furniture and great decor. So WTF.

Deuteronommy 22:20-21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

That is not the kind of stoning that I like. When I get stoned, no one gets killed. Back in the day, ya know when everyone was illiterate and just believed what they were told, there was no such thing as feminism; which is a total shame. In fact back in the day, the daughter belonged to her father the same way a car belongs to an owner today. If your lovely daughter has some mileage on her, then when you trade her in for lets’ say a new goat, or to pay a debt, or a couple of chickens or something, and she has done the bibliclal nasty, then she is not as worth as much as she could be-hich would be a shame ’cause the father raised her like his best cattle or camel. He feed her and fattened her up for dowry-day, the day he gets the return on his investment, errrr, his daughter. Shame on her for thinking for herself and acknowledging her very human desires and passions and feeling.  What about the father?

Luke (if that is your real name) 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Well, why doesn’t someone tell The Newt about this one. Divorce is a biblical crime, it is a no no. Because the divorce rate is highter among the religious and the republican, you can’t really blame them for not mentioning this one. Afterall, the punnishment for this sin is an eternity in hell (and last I heard, Satan didn’t pay his electricity bill so no air conditioning for the hell bound. economy is tough all over). 

I guess that is the beauty of cherry picking from the bible. You can promote one (God hates fags) or you can poo poo another (all Gawds creatures are created equal). Those of us on the correct side of history, the ones that chose reason over stupidstition, choose to highlight this passage because it makes the side of unreason seem all hypocritic-y. Jesus shunned material wealthy, but the Catholic is a s rich as a small nation. All gawds creatures are created equal…except women, animals, minorities and competing religions, nothing hypocritical about that, right.


What believers want Team A to believe is that the bible is the word of Gawd and it is the truth. While completely moral, competed and reasonable peeps have created laws of the land, believers want us to believe that there is a higher law, a divine law. Unfortunately for them, that law is filled with contradictions, it is dated (stoning for picking up sticks on Sunday, no), and in today’s modern society, a society with reason, critical thinking skills and the scientific method, the divine law is just not that at all.


…and besides that, why does Gawd watch us have sex and with who, and how and with what frequency. Perv.

* The Skeptics Annotated Bible 

* 20 bible Passages to Use Against Team Fundie.

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