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Mating Season and Spring Fever

The delicious morsels are sauteing in secret baby sauce.


 Dear Baby,
I really do want one of these little dookie machines (Le sigh). I look up to my homies that are ‘doing it’ and even though we all struggle, I see the worth of it in your eyes. I heart your smell and how you smile (everything is funny to a baby). It makes me happy just thinking about you and the possibility of a future ‘us.’ Be patient little and young Kriss/Kristina, I’m coming. We will watch all the samurai movies I used to watch with my dad and I’ll teach you all my martial arts skills. If it turns out that you don’t want those things, stuff me and my dad did…then I will still love you, maybe even more.

Heart, Dad.


I can’t concentrate on this book, I need my baby.

Dude, you are freekin’ me out.

Kriss, errrr, I mean daddy.

“Kriss, errr, I mean dad. Teach me Sanshou, ya know, because I’m fat.” “I will son/daughter. I’ll teach you all the styles. just come soon. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“See, this is circular like your reasoning.” “Can I touch it.” “Bro, what do you use on your hair, it’s so soft.”

When we grow up we want to be in #teambro and work at the #atheist cafe w/Kriss
But first I need a girlfriend. Are there any smart, scientific minded, skeptics, over 30, with red hair that write feminist books and has won the Pulitzer for journalism, who would be into an athletic studd musician with black silky rope like hair that travels down to my muscular waist and shines in the moonlight, or showers you when I’m on top and falls upon your white freckled body like the sun that kisses you with warmth. Anyone?

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