The Newest Hippest of All Conspiracy’s
|Yeah it did.|
The biggest mistake that our super awesome black president, and that is President Obama, has made concerning not releasing the photo’s of a shot in the head Osama Bin Laden is that this sh*t is gonna fuel conspiracy wacko’s for years. Sheez. We are going to have to hear this sh*t until we die. It will never end. We are still dealing with the Kennedy Ass-ass-ination, the often debunked 9-11, UFO’s, the Moon Landing, you name a conspiracy, Illuminati is a good one-and by good one I mean bad bad one-and they are still around; in fact, as time passes, the sh*t gets stronger as time passes. Soooozzzzz, I’m going to conspirac-ize (the act of making a conspiracy theory-really), the death of Osama Bin Laden. Here we go…
By not releasing the photo of a shot in the head Osama Bin Laden, the president has opened a can of conspiracy worms. No photo means no evidence. There has been talk about an independent source identifying the body, but that was just talk-it didn’t happen (and who the hell wants to see that. I know I do not). Even if they did release a photo, well…Photoshop. Hello.
So this supposed elite team of seals, identities unknown of course, took the body, did DNA testing and then buried dude at sea. Or did they. We don’t know that they did a test. I wasn’t there, were you. They could have had a package of dudes DNA waiting years for this moment-and they took it. As far as being buried at sea. Really, Go find the casket then. No casket and no body means no evidence, therefore we have ourselves a genuine conspiracy folks.
|Cat Conspiracy’s, the cutest of them all.|
So far the story changes everyday. First it was a cave, then a mansion. Dude had hella body guards, but then only three peeps were really protecting him. They wanted to capture OBL alive , but then not. They gave him a chance to surrender, but then they didn’t. Leon Panetta said he didn’t have much time to say anything, but White House spokesperson said he deff did. He was unarmed, then as of today, he was reaching for a gun. The lack of consistency in the story, the fact that it changes everyday…that is conspiracy heaven.
Here’s my favorite one. The best of the best, Navy Seal Team 6, the best combat team in the world had been training for months for this moment and they had a 40 minute gunbattle to achieve their directive. Really….really. OBL was in there with some wives, himself and three bodyguards. Does it really take the best fighting team in the world 40 minutes to take out a small amount of people. A good conspiracy theorist doesn’t think so. I have training, I think I can do the same job in, like 3 to 5 minutes. They scouted the compound, I ass-ume, for a long time. They should have known the layout and how many peeps were there. If there was a whole battalion of guards I can see a 40 minute battle, but just three, sound fishy to the ears of Team Conspiracy.
|I don’t even know what to say for this one. Sheez.|
I can go on, but I think you get the point. As the days pass and evidence doesn’t surface, we can add this ridiculous conspiracy to the pile of ridiculous conspiracies. What is that you say? Why, why did President Barry the Awesome not show us the evidence and pretty much create this awesome conspiracy. Well obviously it is to get reelected. Duh. Well it is that or he owns stock in that OBL conspiracy theory website that will sell hella merchandise and make lots of money. Double duh.
OK now fer some debunking, afterall we are skeptics, right. Not so fast. I’ll let you guys debunk it, but I will say this…100% of all conspiracy theories are dookie. They are not the truth. They are fakey fake. The reason that all the 9-11 stuff happened was because of years of American foreign policy and two planes flew into two buildings. We did land on the moon…and yes just like those bananas peeps keep talking about, we have no UFO’s. So instead of debunking the newest conspiracy, the OBL conspiracy, I’ll go prophetic. I predict that because all other conspiracy theories are poo poo, fakey fake and not the truth, that this one is also.
Don’t believe me…prove me wrong. Have a nice day.
* Osama Bin Laden is not dead. He is chillin on an island with Bruce Lee (who was sick of the entertainment business and decided to check out) and Jim Morrison (who was really kicked out of the Doors-they thought they could make it on their own without him-really) and they are smoking weed. Don’t believe me, prove me wrong, yo.