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Apocalypse Owwwww

When ‘it’ happens, do all dogs go to heaven…much less prairie dogs. I wonder.

If you have been living under a rock as of late I have a surprise for you. The world is gonna end tomorrow…at 6pm, or not…probably not…err, definitely not. Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping used numerology (and bad math) to come up with the date May 21, 2011….6pm as the end of days. While the super awesome atheist blogosphere, and I’m happy to report-the general public-has been joking about Camping’s prophetic vision for weeks, some are not joking at all.

I was a Deadhead in 92′, so I guess I missed it.

Actually it is a very sad story (thanks ExChristian.Net).

AUSTIN — Herbert Washington, whom co-workers at Significant Plastics Inc. say was unduly concerned with the rapture and the second coming of Christ, suffered a serious heart attack when co-workers pretended they’d been caught away without him.

Last Tuesday, they lay work outfits on their chairs and hid in a supply room, and when Herbert came back from the restroom, he thought the rapture had occurred. The janitor, an outspoken Muslim, pretended to have witnessed everyone disappear and ran around the office feigning panic. Herbert fell to the ground clutching his heart and screaming, “I knew you’d forget me, Jesus! What did I do wrong?” He was taken to a local hospital. The employees emerged, sobered, from the supply room and gathered up their extra clothes.

“We didn’t mean to scare him to death,” said one woman. “He’s just always talking about it, so today we decided to turn the tables on him.”

Washington underwent bypass surgery and is recovering well and “digging into the Bible like never before,” says his wife.

Is Blondie still alive…I think so.

 My skeptic meter is going off. Is this a real and true story. It kinda sounds too good to be true. If it is true, then this is wrong on so many levels. Often peeps ask Team Atheist why do we do this, why do we care, or what is the harm. Well, this is the harm. Dude’s absolutely ridiculous belief, not in God but in the Rapture, led to his heart attack. He made an agreement with Jesus and he felt that Jesus let him down, and left him behind. Mr. Washington (if this is a true story) was ready to go meet who he believes is his maker in a place where there is no evidence of existence. He was ready to leave a life here on earth, a life that as far as I can tell, exists, and go to a place called heaven.

I’d dookie in my pants if the Rapture happened, and be really surprised.

Mr. Washington’s wife said that he’s really, really, really reading his bible now. Dam girl, if I wuz you I’d throw that bible away…he was ready to leave you and go to heaven. I don’t know, I’d be jealous. Again, if this is a true story, then what kind of dude was Mr. Washington…

He was a bible thumper. He talked about his lord at work, all of the time. That is why they played the joke in the first place. How did that make the Muslim janitor feel? Was Mr. Washington an eloquent defender of his faith, or did he have what I call a Childlike Faith. I can only imagine how horrible it was to work with a bible thumper. Yuck.

Seriously, I would look for another job if there was someone like that at my work. It would be horrible. Anyways, I hope y’all are going to cool Rapture parties and if it does happen, ya know the end of the world and all…then I’ll see you in heaven.

* Check out Earthbound Pets.

* End of the world thingies that didn’t happen.

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