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The Power of Dookie Pants

Self help books, really.

As I have mentioned many times in the past couple of weeks/months I am in a weakened state (depression and anxiety highlighted with excessive worry and really crappy random thoughts) and because I live in a loving and caring environment (thank you peeps) , people are coming out of the woodwork to offer help; sometimes it is good like “let’s have a beer and just talk, and sometimes it is bad advice like “dude, you just need to get laid.” Recently, a super hottie let me borrow a self help book because she cares (and I really really do think that is so nice). I’m going thru anxiety and depression…I’m not stupid.

Being Asian and growing up with Eastern philosophy and also reading hella self help and pop psychology books in my 20’s, 1) I think it is audacious that peeps think they know more than I know when it comes to Eastern philosophy and 2) even tho I’m going thru anxiety and depression, I’m still a skeptic and an atheist and, as of right now, I still have rational thought on my side. Letting go, letting the chips fall where they may and living in the moment are available to everyone. Believers always hijack things like that, and morals and ethics, and they really and truly believe that they are the sole possessor’s of those qualities. Of course that is not true.

I’ve only read a couple of chapters of this book, but because of my experience, I’m pretty sure I know what the content is. More on that later. So howz about now, let’s cut with Oscams razor and sharpen the skeptics toolbox.

First of all dude, Eckhart Tolle-if that is your real name-tells us that his is the way and it is unique. Well, don’t tell that to Marianne Williamson, Thin Thick Than and Pema Chodran, John Gray, Rhonda Byrne, and Deepak Chopra to name a few off the top of my head. All these peeps subscribe to Eastern philosophy, which I actually believe that some of it is cool, but when you get into the universal (un)consciousness stuffs and the universe has a plan for you (to be happy), then that is when my skeptic meter, even in my weakened state, goes off.

One of the first thingies that dude says in the book it that “you are a beggar.” What he means by that is that you, me and everyone, has an emptiness in our lives and it can only be filled by his way; which also means buying his books and attending his seminars and all that costs money. And that folks is how they get you. Sure right now I’m going thru stuffs and anyone else that is seeking to improve their situations is going thru stuffs-that is why we got this book in the first place-but when someone is going thrus tuffs and saying that they have a hole in their lives, and that our way is the way to fill that hole, well, that is the snake in the snake oil. If it sounds exactly like belief, or Christianity, that is because it is.

The copy on the book says “spiritual enlightenment”. OooooKaaaayyyy. What ever that sh*t is. At the recent talk from the super awesome Greta Christiana, she talks about the hijacking of the word ‘spiritual.’ Really, the self help crowd, the crowd that earns hundreds of millions a year, wants us to believe that they have the keys to spirituality and that their way is the only way. In an attempt to distance themselves from religion, the new ager’s have created their own spirituality and in the process, they have created their own religion. Spirituality, really onset spirituality, belongs to everyone. There is no one that has the market on that and each person may have their own way to said spirituality. Don’t let anyone make you think differently.

So anyways…I just started the book and ya know what…I may just be reading some nite and have a nervous breakdown (which happens daily) and then I’ll see the light (and that means, I’ll interpret the nervous breakdown as being something more than a chemical process in my brain-low serotonin levels-and attribute it to…Gawd) and then miraculously I will be cured (not). I’m still gonna read it tho…

This situation reminds me of stories of peeps on their death bed (and I am on my death bed. A new Kriss will emerge from this and the old Kriss will be dead-symbolically). Often times we atheists and skeptics hear  the horrible horrible story of, while on their death bed, some idiot says something like “Well, do you accept Christ now (if that shit ever happened to me I would use the last of my strength to kill that idiot).” This situation is no different. While the intent is good (for me to get better) the method is so wrong. Depression and anxiety is due to low serotonin levels in the brain. To say that I have to subscribe to a philosophy where there is no evidence of it’s claims insults the skeptic in me. It insults the thinking person in me.

The author of this book said that there was a day when he ‘popped’ out of his funk and he realized that everything that he thought was wrong and that he, now, could see clearly. The super awesome scientist, Francis Collins, at one time knelled before a frozen waterfall and at that moment…he knew God. Bull  fuckin’ shit. Those were choices that those people made. There was nothing divine in that. They made the choice to believe that those were divine events (then the evolved human brain took over and worked it’s miraculous work). I’m not going down like that. I may be going down, but I’m sticking to my materialist worldview.

I’m in the process of getting medication and I’m fully confident in medical science. I’ve had enuff college to know which comes first, the chicken or the egg, or low serotonin levels and depression v. environment. Until then I’ll keep doing things that help like, not being in situation that will make me break down (I miss hanging out in the cafe in the mornings), not too much drink and smoke (dammmmmm, fo sho I miss that), don’t be in crowds, don’t be around peeps that I want to punch (whether I am right or wrong) and …chicken butt (I forgot the last one). Staying focused. that was it. Part of staying focused is reading…even if it is a book that I don’t agree with.

Awesome peeps. Thank you.

* The person that gave me the book, and the tapes to listen to, is a total sweetheart. I believe that she has nothing but good intentions and for that I’am thankful. I’m not so far gone that I cannot appreciate someone that wants to help me. Really, it is so sweet and it does mean so much to me. In fact, my whole environment has been absolutely tremendous while I’m in my weakened state, it’s just that I do not have the ‘something something’ to acknowledge that I appreciate it. I cannot take care of myself right now, and fo sho, I can’t listen to or take care of anyone else’s stuffs. I’m blabbing…Ok. then

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