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Dogs and Cats, Jews and Christians

Pigs flying, mixing chocolate and peanut butter and dogs and cats coexisting like the best of friends, what on Gawds green erffs could possibly be next: evangelical Christians going on vacation in…Israel.  It’s true you disgusting heathens, an unholy alliance has been made, and not only that…it’s making money (which I think is really cliche of those Jewish business peeps).

An organization called Christians for Israel International, apparently, is the hook up if you want to visit some super awesome biblical sites. In the West Bank there are dozens of biblical-y places to check out, don’t worry about those dirty stinky Palestine peeps that live there-they’re being kicked out and apartheid-ed anyways.

Israeli teenagers signing bombs. Really.

“(It helps to show)…) God’s purposes for Israel and to promote comfort of Israel through prayer and action (tourist CNN BB).” And just what is that purpose, ya know besides killing Palestinian babies. Well, we just have to ask some experts like Michele Bachmann and Sarah “The Barracuda” Palin. For those two genius’, and very sadly presidential candidates,  unwavering support for Israel is a must, I’ll repeat A MUST. Why?

I Googled ‘killing Palestinian babies’ but the results were to horrible.

In order for the prophecy to come to fruition, ya know, Jesus coming back within our lifetime, the super awesome liberal and very goodlooking Jewish peeps must establish their homeland-Israel. Ya see, zombie Jesus can’t come back and save that select group of Christians that happen to practice the correct modern Christianity (the Christianity that looks nothing like Jesus’ Christianity) and take them all to heaven, until The Chosen People return home (if they are the chosen people, then why doesn’t zombie Jesus save them). Why, because that is what it says in the bible (or that is what people have interpreted the bible to say).

Funny thingy…I would check it out. I think it would be cool to travel there. Let’s start an atheist biblical tour of holy sites, yes, maybe, no…OK. Any who, business is good and dogs and cats and Christians and Jews are living in this symbiotic hand-n-glove holy alliance. The Jewish peeps are establishing their homeland, Christians are checking out holy sites and in the meantime the brown people, Palestinians, are getting blockaded, suffering, starving and being all oppress-y. But that is OK because the prophecy must come true. And the best part is…

After zombie Jesus returns to the erffs to save his very select group of Christians and then leaves everyone else
behind…then his dad will kill everyone else. Why. Because the bible said so.

Have a nice day everyone.


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