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The Newest Bishop Scandal in the Philippines

I frackin’ swear, I’m going ‘home’ one day.

Team Atheist, you know nothing makes me feel better than talking about my beautiful Philippines and the influence that the super yucky Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines has over political matters. Fo sho there is separation of church and state in the Islands, but hell if it is enforced. Usually I talk about the reproductive health bill, but the bishops have a new controversy to contend with.

The newest controversy is over a lotto operator kicking down some of that good kickback action to the Catholic Association of Boy F*ckers, err, I mean CBCoP for political favors.

“A pastoral letter issued by the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines assured followers that the bishops concerned “are ready to accept responsibility for their actions and to face the consequences if it would be proven unlawful, anomalous and unconstitutional (Wa Po).”


“Wow.” Me as I roll my eyes. 


The former president, Arroyo, is somehow involved in some bishops getting hella SUV’s and the inappropriate spending of 6.9 million pesos (aprox $158, 000). One loser bishop had the audacity to ask, to frackin’ ask for a new vehicle for his 66th b-day. Guess what happened, dude got a new SUV worth 1.7 million pesos (aprox 39,000 usd). The lotto peeps are supposed to be raising money for projects that help the millions of poor peeps in the Islands (ya know, I don’t doubt that they do do that, but do they also do the kickback action, yes).

So here we go again. Blame the sin, but not the sinner, and whatever you do…don’t blame God. I don’t even want to hear what excuse they will spew to explain away the buying of SUV’s for the bishops (i.e. it is tropical in the islands and they NEED new SUV’s, yea, like that). I don’t know if the Prosperity Gospel is taught in the Islands, I think that is the territory of the Born Again’s not the Catholics, regardless, I’m sure the super old and powerful Catholic church are the originators of money for salvation, buying your way into heaven, the ‘eye of the needle’ but not in this case, living in luxury while the poor and needy are poor and needy  kind of stuffs.

The Islands have so many problems: that North v. South war that is really Catholic v. Muslim, they are still fighting the communists (there was an attack last week, I believe), over population due to doing God’s work and biblical sexism, poor agriculture (they have to import rice, WTF), poverty, education, ya know all the stuffs that any third world country is facing. What the Philippines has that other 3rd world countries do not have, or at least not to the extent, is the massive political corruption that is tied into the super powerful Catholic church. The Vatican must be very happy with the Philippines, the people are devout and uneducated, the are dissing the separation of church and state, they are doing God’s work and doing it really good (that means really bad) and they are making hella money. Money money money.

Just like George Carlin said, “Why does God always need money?” Well my dead homie mentor, God doesn’t need money, people do. I still love you Philippines. I will love you thru this scandal and the next one and the next one. But just like my running, horrible thought filled brain…I just wish it would stop.

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